Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
