i think i have herpe
just one?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
