I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This is my gift to your gina
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize