They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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