yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
