If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
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We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
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My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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