I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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