idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
