Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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