can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize