I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
