i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
