Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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