That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can tuck mytits in my pants
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
