ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
