I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize