Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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