well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
