belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
