Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
