I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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