Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
