I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My ass is underappreciated
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
