I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
