i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
