i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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