HIV tests are more positive than that guy
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
