dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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