So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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