You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
