dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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