Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
