there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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