Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
