adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
