kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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