Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
