Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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