I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There's always time for handjobs
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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