is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
