sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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