So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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