They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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