Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.