shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.