He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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