I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
