Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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