i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
not ubering you a puppy
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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