i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize