This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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