everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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