While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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