I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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