she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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