There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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