when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
