Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
