I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
