i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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