But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize