It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
